My previous article on feminism was mainly focused on women. This time I’m going to bring men into this more, since men are just as much affected by feminism as women. I’ve been seeing this article ’35 Practical Steps Men Can Take To Support Feminism’ float about on the internet, it’s been shared by both women and men whose interest supposedly is to create ‘an equal society’ and better relationships between the two genders.
The thing is, we have equal rights here in the West. That’s all we need. Other than that, men and women are never going to be equal. We’re different in our nature and these differences are beautiful, interesting and fascinating. But neo-feminists seem to think that turning us all into genderless drones is going to create a better society somehow.
What annoys me about this article is that men are being portrayed as dumb and stupid, uneducated little boys that need a female babysitter to teach them how to behave properly. Supposedly men are completely lacking common sense, don’t understand that non-consensual sex is a crime and therefore need to educate themselves about it, are irresponsible with money and are generally disrespectful sexist cunts who make the lives of women so god damn harsh. They’re all weird creeps who would walk close behind a woman at night just to scare the shit out of her.
At the same time, women are all highly evolved, conscious, innocent, well-educated, knowledgeable, advanced beings who know it all better, don’t make mistakes ever and certainly never mistreat anyone. They are the ones you as a man need to learn from to become a better person, the ones you need to submit to and make your ‘heroes and role models’, merely based on the fact that they have a vagina.
I’m not going to deny that those types of ‘men’ exist who don’t treat women right. There are some right dickheads out there, little boys in adult bodies who don’t know how to respect women or anyone really, who are completely ego driven and use and abuse women. They are out there. I have encountered them myself, I have dated them and I have interacted with them many times. I’ve put up with them for way too long and I’ve let them drag me through the shit. I tried to educate them too and I’ve come to the following conclusion:
You’re a fool if you think you can educate dickheads.
You’re a fool if you think they’ll bother with anything you say or even listen to you, that they’ll take you seriously. Any attempt of getting through to them is just going to be a waste of energy.
Although those dickheads certainly exist, they only make up a certain percentage of all men. I can’t tell you how much that percentage is but I can tell you for sure that there are plenty of decent men out there who don’t fall into the dickhead category. Wonderful, amazing men who respect women and treat them well, who are in their power, real and authentic. These men are strong and self aware, when you assert your boundaries to them, they will respect them. You can communicate well with these men, have a laugh and just feel good and safe in their presence.
It’s just that the person who wrote this article has obviously never encountered any of those decent men, or maybe she had and she didn’t want to see the decency of those men because that would trigger her own inferiority issues pretty quickly and she’d have to face the uncomfortable truth that she can’t blame the entire male species for her issues anymore. She’d be forced to take a good look into her own mirror and that wouldn’t be pretty. She’d have to watch that facade crumble, the shiny facade of the well-educated, morally superior, all knowing, empowered revolutionary feminist woman and she’d have to see herself for what she really is. Too fucking frightening, I guess.
But this is what you need to do when you’re the type of woman who is attracting dickheads. You’ve got to ask yourself the serious question why you’re attracting those types and what issues you have that keep you from staying away from them. If you want to change any of these things you have to work for it.
We may attract dickheads because we subconsciously believe we don’t deserve any better, because we’ve been treated badly by our parents or other people in the past. We may be easily impressed by big egos rather then tuned into the energy of another person, recognising the heart and human decency in them, or lack thereof. Our bullshit detectors may have been neglected, or maybe we aren’t clear about what we look for in a man. Maybe we have our on subconscious unfulfilled desires driving us to enter certain relationships that only give us superficial fulfilment rather than the deeper connection we truly desire. There are many possible reasons why we attract dickheads.
If you don’t make the conscious effort to work on yourself you’ll keep on attracting dickheads, and if you encounter decent men they’ll just make you feel insecure about yourself.
I despise the fact that those neo-feminists are never encouraging women to look within and truly empower themselves. They are encouraging the exact opposite of that. They’ll throw the term ‘empowerment’ around anywhere anytime but they haven’t got the slightest clue of what it actually means.
It seems that to them ‘empowerment’ means ‘having power over others’. They believe they have to take someone else’s power away in order to become more empowered in themselves. That’s bullshit. You’re not empowered if you feel the need to take someone else’s power. You’re fucking miles away from being empowered, you’ve got your head in the sand and your arse too.
The power is found within and women actually have the natural ability to connect with their inner worlds easier than men. That’s one of our true powers. But the avoidant, outwards projecting, blaming, ego-feeding attitudes of neo-feminists are so disconnected from that power that they’ll have a long way to go to actually step into it. I doubt that many of them ever will.
Even though this article was shaming and blaming men in many ways I saw it being shared by men on the internet. I wondered what kind of man would be sharing an article like that. A real, authentic and empowered man would call out the bullshit on it. Only weak, disempowered and inauthentic little boys in adult bodies who think it will somehow get them laid to promote that load of wank will buy into it.
The ‘white knight’ type, the kind of guy I’d never date because I couldn’t be arsed mothering him. Been there, done that, moved on.
Going around and being a whiny little bitch about sexist jokes isn’t going to do the job. It just makes you look like an utter tool who is trying to make everyone miserable. Just like the average feminist, I guess.
Just like there are men who are dickheads there are women who are twisted little bitches who want to walk all over you. It’s no surprise they encourage men to be doormats, to be obedient compliant submissive cowards who do anything a woman tells them to do.
Don’t let no bitch chop your balls off. It’s not worth it.
I hope to see more of the decent men speaking out against this shit and voice their opinions, talk about how feminism affects them and stand up for themselves. I wouldn’t expect anything from men except to be themselves and do their own thing.
At the same time, women need to stop playing the victim. Are you a woman or are you a helpless little girl? Yes, we need men to protect and help us when we are in dangerous situation, like when someone is physically threatening us. But when it comes to non-physical ‘threats’ we need to be as empowered as we can be. We may not be able to physically defend ourselves but we’re certainly able to stand up for ourselves and tell that creepy man at the train station to ‘fuck off’. If you feel uncomfortable by someone staring at you, walk away. It’s annoying, but for fucks sake, it’s life. Why would you spend your life choosing to be a victim? There is nothing more disempowering than being a victim.
There are a few points I can agree with in this article, but generally it’s rubbish and condescending, putting all men into the same box of dickheads, a box that so many men out there simply don’t deserve to be in.
We all have to learn certain things. We need to learn how to step into our power, our feminine or masculine power, how to be authentic, how to express our unique selves, create good relationships with people and plenty of other things. We need to support each other in the process of learning and growth, not get sucked into silly games, be passive-aggressive and use revengeful tactics against each other. Fuck lowering yourself to that and acting like some narcissistic, self-entitled twat. We’re meant to be adults after all, sane human beings.
Men can learn a lot from women. Women can learn a lot from men. In order to learn from each other we need to connect with each other, empower each other, lift each other up and refuse to fall for any division tactic. Mutual respect isn’t about one person being superior over another.
After all, real, empowered and authentic men and women don’t need to follow anyone’s rules. We don’t need a 35 steps guide to tell us what to do. We know in our hearts what is right and we play by our own rules.