“You need to let go of the past.” – Something I’ve been told many times by pseudo spiritual smartarses who obviously knew me better than I did after talking to me only once or twice. By ‘talking to me’ I’m referring to listening to my problems I told them as I made the mistake of being too open to them, twisting them around in their heads and basically telling me that I’m insane but not directly, it was nicely wrapped and sugarcoated and sounded like something along the lines of “you are such a lightful soul but you need to let go of the past.”
Other times it would sound more like “I sense a heavy dark energy in you and it makes me feel unwell”, indicating that I should of course feel sorry for that fragile over-sensitive poor thing that feels so burdened by my presence alone and is now on the verge of having a breakdown. Being made to feel guilty for my mere existence was nothing new to me and these individuals would take it onto a whole new level.
But I’m not writing this to make myself look like a victim. I am not the victim, I have found my way out of this and now I am so much wiser and as a bonus I have got lots and lots to write about. All those crazy, weird, fucked up, mad and at times hilarious experiences I’ve had in the spiritual community, they are worth putting on paper – or virtual paper. They are gold. Shit to be turned into gold, as I’d put it. And I know that people can relate to this, I know they do. So many have gone through similar stuff, the ones who didn’t get stuck in the cult, the ones whose allergic reactions to bullshit have reached an acute state to the point where they had to remove themselves and recover from it all.
So, back to the topic of ‘letting go of the past’. It’s such a ludicrous and insensitive and totally inappropriate thing one person could say to another. That’s not because releasing ourselves from the burdens of the past isn’t a vital thing to do that allows us to heal, feel lighter and more empowered in ourselves – nor is it because I personally have become allergic to the term ‘letting go’ by now. It’s because it’s such an oversimplified way of putting it, oversimplified in the same way as complex scientific knowledge gets oversimplified so that it can be taught to children in school.
You’re not smart enough to get it, so let me put it into overly simple terms for you so that you – being the unenlightened unspiritual idiot you are – will understand it too!
Pseudo spiritual smartarses see you as a child and treat you like one. If gives them a sense of superiority over you which is exactly what they want, they want to have authority over you. They want you to feel like a child so you submit to them. It’s not only ‘spiritual’ healers and coaches who operate that way – you find plenty of therapists who seem to be in their profession more so because it makes them feel better about themselves being able to point out to others how messed up they are, rather than actually helping, encouraging and empowering people.
I have seen and experienced it so much and it has taught me many lessons, the most important one being that I am my own authority. And I should never give it to anyone else. Yes, some people know more about certain subjects than I do, they are more knowledgeable in certain fields and I respect that. But they don’t know ME better than I do, that’s for sure.
No one knows you better than you know yourself. No one knows better than you what works for you and what doesn’t, and if you feel that it isn’t that way then I strongly advise you to go and study yourself in depth. If you don’t know yourself others will claim they do and manipulate you into believing them before they walk all over you and suck you dry of your vital energy.
In pseudo spiritual arenas, where everyone claims to possess psychic abilities and see right through you, and those who are drawn to such individuals having a poor sense of self, poor boundaries, a tendency to deceive themselves and hence a tendency to be easily deceived, such manipulation and energy harvest occurs very commonly. The people seeking help from such individuals may have been disappointed by conventional treatment such as medication and counselling, as it didn’t get to the root of the problem, and are now looking for alternative treatment. They are open and perhaps too easily impressed, or they just want to relieve their suffering so badly that they’d do anything for it.
Such people are to be taken advantage of pretty easily, and there are plenty of indecent people who jump at the opportunity of doing so, whether they do it consciously or not. But it doesn’t matter if it’s done consciously or not, it does harm to people seeking help and it makes them worse rather than better. Such deceptive individuals will pick their psyches apart and dump a load of superficial nonsensical profound sounding crap onto them, make them distrust themselves and their senses even more to the point they willingly give all their power away to their ‘guru’.
Whether the ‘guru’ is qualified to help that person or not doesn’t matter. Why would it matter if you lead someone with severe psychological issues into full on psychosis or a complete breakdown with the risk of having them commit suicide, as long as you can cash in on them and get a nice little ego trip feeding them lies and bullshit to the point where they nearly overflow and tell them it’s their ‘unresolved issues from the past’?
No, it doesn’t matter to them because they either are psychopaths or narcissists, or they have so much of their own unresolved material in the way that they are repressing by all means and as a result have little or no compassion for other people and their suffering. And no, just because they call themselves an ‘empath’ doesn’t mean that they are good hearted people who understand and respect your inner space. It’s easy to pretend to feel empathy and compassion for another person, very easy, especially for those who are trained in it.
You invite those people into the sacred space of your inner world because you want them to help you. If you imagine your inner world to be a garden, these ‘gurus’ will step into it and walk all over your beautiful plants, rip out your flowers, cut down your trees, pour poison all over your lawn and then claimed that they’ve helped you to make your garden grow better and that you owe them half a month’s salary for that.
I’ve come to question everything I’d had preached to me by pseudo spiritual and pseudo scientific smartarses and I’ve come to realise that in order to truly heal I’d have to go against most of this, pick everything apart that I’ve absorbed, throw most of it out and evaluate those oversimplified concepts for myself.
They preach openness to the whole world – but if you’re too open and let those disease infested soulless parasites in they’ll destroy you, so it’s best to firmly shut your doors, gates and barriers to those types and lock them so they’ll never get in. They are poison spreading more poison. Don’t be deceived by their terrifyingly calm and empathic sounding voice or their dreamy blue eyes staring at you creepily whilst they are passive aggressively telling you that you are a total mess simply for being human and that only they and their ‘magic cure’ aka ineffective dependency causing quick fix will sort you out.
Whenever they told me to “let go of the past” I asked them how you do that. It’s not like you just wake up in the morning and think “oh, my past is getting too heavy on me, I’m gonna let it go” and then you see your past flowing off like a river, never to return, and feel free and light as a result and can now finally live a blissful and happy life. No it’s not like that, even though they want to make it sound like it. So when I asked them how to do it, how to ‘let go of the past’, some would refer me to their ‘method’, the one and only cure. Others wouldn’t say anything at all. I guess it was just fun to point out how much I needed to fix myself and getting me into a state of confusion while watching me get more and more anxious around them.
Dealing with the burdens of the past is a process that takes a long time. For some it takes longer than for others. There are many ways to process unresolved past experiences. Writing the experiences down, talking to a trusted person about them, expressing them creatively, using physical exercise to release stored emotions, working with a sincere, good hearted and well qualified professional… the list goes on. We need to find out for ourselves what helps us.
But one thing is for sure, don’t allow pseudo spiritual smartarses to ‘work’ on you – they won’t help you, they’ll make you worse. They encourage you to repress your emotions and detach from your past experiences, escape rather than face yourself. It all works the same way as taking a drug, and we all know that drugs don’t make you heal your trauma. Addiction to pseudo spiritual quick fixes can be difficult to ‘diagnose’ because you are not addicted to a physical substance. But the impacts on your health are the same, not just mentally and emotionally. Repressed emotions affect your physical body and make it weak and ill.
Emotions are part of being a healthy human being. If you feel emotions, even if they are intense, horrible and uncomfortable, you are healthier than those who don’t feel any. Whether it’s anger, grief, despair or something more comfortable like joy and happiness – emotions are there to be expressed and experienced fully. They make us alive. Anyone who tells you to avoid, repress, control or detach from your emotions is full of shit. When you allow your emotions to arise and learn to be present with them, they no longer cause you to suffer in the way they did when you tried to avoid them. They make the human experience real. They make you realise how unique every moment is. They make it all worthwhile.
All that takes practice, there’s no quick fix for it. And that’s fine. Nature doesn’t do quick fixes, it’s all about being patient and letting the process unfold, taking one step at a time. The step away from spiritual smartarses is the first step to take, everything else will fall into its place if you really want it to.