‘Emergence’ is a series of abstract paintings I created in 2017 and 2018, within one of the most intense years of my inner transformation and healing journey. I was living in Plymouth in the UK and I was going through a difficult time dealing with CPTSD and the physical health issues that developed as a result of it. I spent many days in my room, feeling threatened and isolated. I painted to transform the pain. Creating this series was therapy for me. It helped me through the difficulties and kept me focused on moving forward and keeping my faith in a better future.
Acrylic on canvas, 30 cm x 30 cm
I will always follow my own path, no matter what happens. There is a divine plan in place for me and nothing in this world can bring me off it anymore. I may not know in my mind where it’s going to take me, but in my heart I know exactly where I’m going. I take every step, trusting it takes me closer to my soul’s deepest desires becoming my reality.
HOME IN SOLITUDE
Acrylic on canvas, 60 x 30 cm
It was summer and I was alone in the mountains close to where I grew up. I craved solitude, peace and ease, I craved silence. Yet it was so frightening at the same time to face myself with no more distraction. The past was always with me and it could get a grip on me just at any time. Then I’d lose control, I’d die inside just once again. I was in this place I loved, a place that was so safe, surrounded by beautiful nature, but inside I was confronted by a raging war. Painting was so often what gave me a sense of calm. The vibrant colours reminded me, if I keep on transforming the pain of the past I will become vibrant, I will come to life.
Acrylic on canvas, 59 x 42 cm
I feel a deep sense of care for all beings on this planet and beyond. Just like nature cares for everyone, I feel in my heart too, that I care for others. I feel sometimes a sense of connectedness to all that exists. I see what two eyes cannot see. I see and I feel way too much sometimes. The tragedy, the beauty, the loss, infinity. I feel so alone and yet so connected, I am so alone and yet I am not. I feel so lost in a world which has become lost, and yet I am never lost. I am always carried.
Acrylic on canvas, 15 x 15 cm
At the core of the heart there is an infinite source of love. It’s the place where you find who you truly are, the place where God is at home. The heart is where true strength and power lies, a place abandoned by the human of this world. The heart is the true leader, and a true leader leads from the heart.
Acrylic on canvas, 15 x 15
This world leaves us broken, smashed into pieces. With all its limitations it may seem like a prison. But it only becomes a prison if you forget. When you remember where you belong and return to that very place you will be free. That place is within, it’s where you have come from and where you shall return.
Acrylic on canvas, A5
Passion is born out of the storm, the urge for liberation out of captivity. Everlasting joy is born out of deep sadness, purpose is born out of tragedy. Strength is born out of destruction, creativity is born out of everything.
Acrylic on canvas, 30 x 30 cm
The time has come to reconnect, to cleanse and detoxify. Burn everything, leave it in the past. Anything that is heavy, weighing down the soul, it all needs to go, so let it go to be taken off you. Create space for all that is good, in your body, soul and mind. Surrender and receive it, the good, healing, divine energy. Take it all in, it is all that you need, your number one, your priority.
Acrylic on canvas, 40 x 40 cm
How did we become so… Disconnected. Scattered, fragmented, all over the place. Lost in amnesia. Looking for something, but what is it? That slight feeling of remembering briefly at times in silent moments. Distraction. Lost it again so quickly. And then there comes the moment when all you ever had is gone within the blink of an eye, Shattered and destroyed. The person your mind created, and all you held onto so tightly. Dreams and hopes and all you ever wanted. Reality coldly staring you in the eye. No more illusions, no more false comforts, no more self deception. Now is the time to break free.
INNER GALACTIC EPISODES
Acrylic on canvas, 120 x 60 cm
When wounds are opened and one stares into the depths of it. And it feels like standing on the edge of a cliff, a see of blood boiling and raging beneath. Look into the abyss, look at all you have lost. Look at the furious crying children drowning in blood, in the sea of the unheard and the unseen. Will you save them, will you jump and tear back out one at a time. Listen to them calmly, allow their pain to be felt in your heart until its soothed, one by one. Or will you let them drown and will you let them scream, will you let their fury dig deeper into the wound until there is nothing more left of you, will you?
Acrylic on canvas, A1
Infuse the destroyed kingdom with divine life force energy. Bring it back to life. Destructive and traumatic events and phases in life have led me down a path of self destruction. I became vulnerable, I attracted more of the evil into my life until it knocked me down to the very ground. It ripped me apart to the point of no return, so I thought for a while, until I got up again. Repeatedly I got torn down but I picked myself up every time, I continued this life, I picked up the pieces, put them back together. When I broke down all opportunities opened up to me, right in front of me. I died inside just to become alive.
Acrylic on canvas, 18 x 24 cm
When you surrender to the flow of the universe, you find yourself continuously spiralling upwards. Going through cycles of growth and healing, learning and unlearning, creation and destruction, letting go of the old and replacing it with the new, and repeat again. A constant unfolding and moving forward, even when it feels as if one is moving backwards. The life force of the universe, the highest form of intelligence in existence, knows exactly what it is doing.
Acrylic on canvas, 30 x 25 cm
Marisia, Queen of the underworld. She has seen the darkest of darkness, to the point where she is no longer afraid. She fought so many battles, was chained and tortured, forced to surrender to all evils. And yet she returned to reclaim what was taken from her. Marisia, she is a protector of Nature and innocent beings. Those who inflict harm to those she loves shall burn in her fire, deep in the woods on a clear starry night.
INTO THE SEA
Acrylic on canvas, 30 x 30 cm
The emotional world is a vast ocean, an infinite sea. Its waters reach deep, to the realm of the unknown and unseen. They tell stories, so many beyond words. The waves, at times so stormy and raging, at times so peaceful and calm, and at times one gets dragged down so deeply into the unspeakable realm. And every time one will come back onto the surface, with newfound wisdom and richness each time.
Oil on canvas, 40.5 x 30 cm
The rose said to me, when you open up and unfold your beauty, when you share it with the world for everyone to be admired, make sure you also grow thorns. There will be those who will try and get too close, and if they don’t respect you, they deserve to get hurt. Don’t be afraid of anyone, don’t hide your beauty from the world, show it proudly and allow it to be admired. But choose wisely who you let close.
Acrylic on canvas, 59 x 42 cm
The shackles of the human condition, they were placed upon us all. One is told what to think, one is told what to feel. No matter how false, how unnatural, how out of alignment with ones true state, one still needs to follow certain rules in order to be accepted, one needs to hide behind a facade, an identity, an illusion. In such a world, the soul screams for liberation. This life is meant to be wild, unrestricted and free.
Acrylic on canvas, 59 x 42 cm
The alchemy of energy is the process of transforming low frequency energies into the high frequency divine energy. The human world is full of those low frequencies and so is the human body carrying the energetic imprints of unresolved past experiences from this life, from past lives and ancestors. The artist is an alchemist, transforming those energies through art.
INFINITÉ DE DESTINS
Acrylic on canvas, 21 x 14.7 cm
Sometimes you get thrown into the darkness, just to find your light again and shine upon it. Sometimes you have to visit the places that you have avoided, ignored or denied, just so you can find the treasures that make this experience called life livable after all. Sometimes you have to go through what is painful and frightening in order to find your strength and remember who you really are.
ON THE EDGE
Acrylic on canvas, 25 x 30 cm
What I asked for was peace, but here I’m running again, through the forest. Running from something, just so I don’t have to stare into this dreadful silence. Freedom, I have lost faith in it again. I’m lying on the ground, screaming to be released, to leave this body and this experience. I feel as if I will remain here forever, until it eats me up inside. I’m searching for the exit, but where is the exit and does it even exist. Question after question goes through my mind. What is it that I am looking for? I know, it’s there, but I lost it all again. I lost it, please come and find me, once again.
Oil on canvas, 1 x 1 m
I adore the sea, she is a powerful healer and teacher. The way she draws me in, so lovingly at times, as if she wanted nothing more than to cleanse me, to bring my back to my simple joy. I absorb her strength when I feel the waves, feel that power that carries them and feel how it carries me too.